I Am Shy ...

... and I don't feel very comfortable talking about it.
BAA! HA!

Actually, I am, though I am much better than I used to be. It is difficult and it crosses over all aspects of my life. It is the biggest thing about myself that I don't like. If I could change one thing, that would be it.

So, I try not to be and sometimes it is a struggle. In time, once I know you, I won't be as shy... but it is my general demeanor. I am more of an observer than the one being observed. I am not the center or life of the party (and I am ok with that) though I'm not the bump on the log, either (I don't think). I have had people tell me they thought I was bored or snobby because I was shy and not as outgoing. I hate to throw it on another person, but I am less shy if the other person has a comfortable and accepting vibe that they put out there. It just is what it is.

The more comfortable I am around you, the more I am me. Sometimes it just takes a little time ... some people think I am worth it, some people think I'm not (of course, they are mistaken - ha!) ;)

I think it all started very early on - when I was little (story goes) my parents laughed at some funny something I said/did (I believe I already blogged how funny I am :)....) and I yelled 'Don't laugh at me!' -- and there it is. They were just laughing at the funny little thing a funny little kid said and I felt like it was at me not with me. There is still a little of that there .... but in time and with effort it goes away.

so, in a nutshell ... mike ann = shy = that's ok! :)