Making Art

I dream of making a living making art. I am still on the journey, trying to figure out what it is that I am good at. Continuing down the path while searching along the way. By this I mean, what is my medium? What is my style? I feel like I am still exploring, trying to find my kismet. I wonder, if in the end, I will find it or maybe the journey is my destiny, the path my passion.

I Am Shy ...

... and I don't feel very comfortable talking about it.
BAA! HA!

Actually, I am, though I am much better than I used to be. It is difficult and it crosses over all aspects of my life. It is the biggest thing about myself that I don't like. If I could change one thing, that would be it.

So, I try not to be and sometimes it is a struggle. In time, once I know you, I won't be as shy... but it is my general demeanor. I am more of an observer than the one being observed. I am not the center or life of the party (and I am ok with that) though I'm not the bump on the log, either (I don't think). I have had people tell me they thought I was bored or snobby because I was shy and not as outgoing. I hate to throw it on another person, but I am less shy if the other person has a comfortable and accepting vibe that they put out there. It just is what it is.

The more comfortable I am around you, the more I am me. Sometimes it just takes a little time ... some people think I am worth it, some people think I'm not (of course, they are mistaken - ha!) ;)

I think it all started very early on - when I was little (story goes) my parents laughed at some funny something I said/did (I believe I already blogged how funny I am :)....) and I yelled 'Don't laugh at me!' -- and there it is. They were just laughing at the funny little thing a funny little kid said and I felt like it was at me not with me. There is still a little of that there .... but in time and with effort it goes away.

so, in a nutshell ... mike ann = shy = that's ok! :)

And Still, MORE Random Ramblings ...

-- I once super glued rhinestones in my hair for St. Pat's Day. - it was a good idea, at the time. (sober)

-- We used to take off work on St. Pat's day, go to the pub around 11:00 or so, stay until around 11:pm or so and make a full, fun day of it. I miss those days.

-- I have gotten 2 tickets and gotten out of 2 tickets. I liked getting out of them better.

-- My first car was a 1973 convertible black and yellow VW Super Beetle ... I miss it.

-- As a kid, I loved the snow. As an adult, it stresses me out (but it's real pretty :)..)

-- I once had a girl we met in Florida tell me I didn't look like a Michael Ann, so she would call me Susie. I think that's weird.

-- Every summer we used to go 'down home' ... it was fun. My gmom's sisters were really funny... I miss that.

-- I hum a little tune when I enjoy what I am eating. (So I've been told ... I never really noticed)

-- I used to sit at the table, watch everyone eat and then have to eat my dinner cold, alone - (well my poor mom would sit there with me)

-- I was once in a nice clothing store with my mom and gmom, being very quiet. I then walked up to them and held out my hand and said 'Look at these' ... My hand full of a big stack of price tags I had pulled off the dresses. We left the store immediately.

-- I hold my head down while walking (a shy thing) but as a result, I have found a diamond ring, diamond earring, pearl necklace and money ... so, maybe it pays to be shy :)

-- I have met many famous people (thanks Brad)- the coolest (and friendliest) was Johnny Cash.

-- My gmom was at our house babysitting one time and told me to do something. I told her I didn't have to because it wasn't her house. She said that was fine, she would just tell my mom. To which I replied 'Can't you take a tease??' - with a sly grin :)

-- My best friend Davis and I played barber (minds out of the gutter). I cut his hair for him (with those rounded kid scissors) He went home and told his parents that I gave the best haircuts ever! ... He had to go have his head shaved. His parents didn't tell mine until after his real haircut .. I guess I got in trouble. :)

A Few More Randoms

-- I am scared of heights, but I bungee jumped the equivalent of a SEVEN story building BECAUSE I was scared. (still scared)

-- I am afraid of BIG dogs. (A little dog bit me when I was little. That was my fault.) The BIG dog fear is because our neighbors dog would charge and try and attack me when I would leave the house. Only me. And I was a kid and so I like to see if they are friendly first.

-- I am allergic to cats, therefore if they are around they will always try and sit with me.

-- I LOVE going to the beach, but am not real keen on the sand or ocean. (Have I said this one before?) - and sometimes it is really HOT! :) ... But I do love going, it brings back wonderful childhood memories. A feeling of calm, safety, carefree living, peace and joy. I LOVE IT!

-- Apparently, on my recent trip to H.H. I unwittingly killed about 70 sand dollars. They were washed ashore! Their fur wasn't moving! And many of them were on their backs! How was I supposed to know they were still alive?! :( If I had known, I certainly wouldn't have picked up 70 of them. :)

-- If I have the flat iron (hair) or regular iron plugged in, I have to unplug it and say 'UNPLUGGED' out loud. I typically look a couple more times to make sure it is unplugged before I leave the house.

-- I LOVE having slumber parties with my nieces. I miss the little girls they used to be but love the little girls they are.

-- I don't care where we eat/where we go/what we do - as long as I am with the people I care about.

-- If I have a bad meal, it's ok. There will be another one. no worries.

-- My favorite bouquet of flowers would be a bouquet of wild flowers in an old mason jar - maybe a ribbon tied around it.

-- If I could wrap presents and make gift baskets all day long, and get paid for it, I would. (In a heartbeat)

-- I don't like gravy or anything that is gravy-like.

-- The first time I ever got a massage the girl said 'Wow you're really tense' and I thought 'Heck-yeah, you're a stranger and I'm naked!' :)

-- I like to sleep. If I'm tired, I'm sleeping. :)

-- I have had 3 minor fender benders - Oh, 4 ..... ALL MY FAULT. :)

the.end.

Laugh BIG and LOUD (btw I AM FUNNY!)

My motto: if it's funny... laugh out LOUD!

First: I am funny. I don't just think this, I know this. As my niece once said "I didn't say I knowed it, I said I knewed it!" ... and it is true. I can't necessarily be funny on the spot, but I am in the moment. :) I'm not even bragging. It is what it is. :)

As far as laughing out loud... why be secretive about how funny you think something is? .. let it out, be free! I actually don't have a whole lot of control over it, it just happens. But I do have a few different laughs that we (friends and I ) have noticed.
They are as follows:

1. regular laugh
2. giggle
3. BIG OUT LOUD, MOUTH WIDE OPEN LAUGH. (but in an attractive way - I was told- hmm)
4. EXPLODING LAUGH - bursts out before I can reign it in.
5. The Scooby-doo or 'courtesy' laugh : this one happens when I have heard the funny thing you have said, but am not really giving full attention. My brain is aware that I need to laugh, so that you'll know I heard the funny thing you said and so as not to leave you hanging - and so I laugh. And it comes out sounding like Scooby-doo. Honest. Then, of course, we laugh like #3, because I've just been busted.

I laugh when I am nervous or feel shy. I laugh at inopportune times (church, the library,during a wedding, during a movie when it isn't a funny scene, during someone's speech, when people fall (that one is terrible, very inappropriate - but it's a nervous thing, and I don't always do it, just sometimes)

So, I may not always laugh at the right time, but at least I'm laughing :)

Random Thinks and Other Ramblings

-- My first cigarette was between the ages of 6 and 9. I know this because it was in the alley near our house and before we moved to Nashville. My sister told me she would rat me out about something else I had done if I didn't try it with her. And so I did.

My last cigarette was puffed on while dancing on top of a table at a fraternity party when I was around 21. I don't recall there being any in between these two times, though there might have been. I am happy to say that was my first and last (though not the last time I danced on a table - hee hee - but all innocent fun :)

-- I used to sleep with my new shoes. I wouldn't wear them, but wanted to sleep with them in the bed - hugging them. When I was real little I yelled in the store 'It's no fair, NO FAIR, I don't want two pairs of shoes, I only want one!' (I believe this is where the math problems may have started)

-- When people would come over to visit (grown ups) I would run off to my room and make them something.

-- I used to love making mud pies.

-- I miss my gmom every day. She was the best

-- Fall is my favorite time of year.

-- I once begged my daddy to 'please shave his beard' - I just wanted 'my daddy's old face back' ... and so he did. And I watched. And I cried the whole time. We then went to pick my sister up from swimming and I stood in the back of the car - back in the days when kids were human missals, legally - crying the whole way there and back home. I then sat at the dinner table and cried, while staring at him the whole time, until I finally threw up and went to bed.

-- The only pets I have had, when I was little, were a fish and a duck. And we babysat a bunny for a while. My fishy was named Sylvester. He was silver - while he lived in the little bowl. Then we put him in a pond and he turned black. hhmmmm (I did have a few fish later on, when I was older - I accidentally killed them with cold water ... oops.. (it really was terrible, I cried for hours r.i.p. max and erma)

My duck's name was 'Muggsy' (after my cousin's dog) - my sister had a duck named Skipper - The easter bunny brought them to us, anywho, I was really little and my dad traveled all the time. (he would be gone all week and home on weekends)I don't really remember them other than the time there were terrible rain storms (Tornado watches) and my sister and I were crying and my dad was out of town and my mom had to go outside and get the ducks and bring them inside- during the storm. - I don't remember that part, just that they were running around the living room. :)

So, at a later date, the ducks came down with some sort of disease and 'died'. My dad would call from out of town and I would always say - every night when he called 'Daddy - Did you know my duckies died?' And of course he did.

Years later - like when my sister and I were both done with school - adults - my dad said something about having to hit one of the ducks over the head with a shovel and kill it because they were diseased and flopping around all over the yard.

We were horrified! and he was like 'I had to, they were really sick, it was terrible watching them like that'

To this day, I am sure it was Skipper, he had to hit with the shovel. :)

-- My first words (besides momma and daddy) GO BAMA, GO!! which I kept yelling long after they lost the game.

-- I used to play dress up all the time. if i could wear it tied around me or on my head, I did and it was an 'outfit'.


To be continued ...

I Dream A Dream .....

... of having my own art studio-space, one day. Nothing fancy or spectacular (though, I'll take that, too :) ...) I would just like a house with a basement or a garage I could convert. Enough space to spread everything out and not worry about spilling paint or making a mess. Wall and floor space BIG enough to create large paintings etc. Shelves for all my art stuff and counters and BIG tables to work on. A work sink for clean up.

Plus space to store all my paintings painted, all my makings made. (since they didn't make it into the show) - ha! -- Oh well, anyone have a birthday coming up? ;)wink

That's My Name, Don't Wear It Out!

I have many nicknames.

I have always had many many nicknames. So many, that- at one point when I was little- I didn't know my real name.

My mom was calling me in for dinner from playing outside, and, when calling my real name .. I didn't answer or come running. As soon as she called a nickname, I came home. - She then told my dad that she didn't think I knew my name and they had better start using it.

Another time, I came home crying after Sunday school and saying I never wanted to go back because the kids were teasing me. What about? Well they kept calling me by my nickname - how did they know it? (my parents asked) -- I TOLD THEM :)

And so, in this quest of you all knowing me a little better ... here they are (the ones I remember):

Mic
Mickey
Mikie
Mickey-mouse
jones-bones (this was the one told at Sunday school)
dirt-magurt
maz
ma
mike ann

So, I guess that's it .... so, call me what you will - as long as it's nice. :) - and really, what's in a name? :)

Sniff! Sniff! -- Someone's pants are on fire ...

... and they aren't mine. I am a TERRIBLE liar!

I've been told this by a few, though it is something I already knew.

First: I can't really think up a good lie. (no comments)- i really can't. My mind goes blank. I can't think of anything that would sound good. I see/hear some people do this and I am amazed that they can come up with something so quickly.

Second: I get all flustered and flushed (I blush)- nervous, twitchy. Panic sets in (which I believe is a pretty good give-away)

So, I typically try and steer clear of situations where I might have to lie. I mean, an occasional white lie .."Yes, those are nice shoes ... Yes, I like your hair like that ... Mmmmm that salad dressing was DE-LISH!: ;) wink

So, as Abe would say 'I cannot tell a lie, and that's the truth!"

Now THIS is MY KIND OF BIKE!

Here's one that most of you already know. I don't know how to ride a bike. There. I said it. I never learned how. I tried, it just didn't 'take'.

Blow-by-blow (that I remember):
I ran into a fence (while riding down the alley near our house)and fell off the bike.

I was riding on a tennis court: sans the net being up : and ran into one of the two posts(that hold the net) on the court. After the direct hit I flipped over the handle bars and off the bike.

I was thrown underneath a parked car in our driveway while on the back of my sisters bike. We hit a muddy-slippery- dip in the drive and the bike spun around and i was thrown under the car. She said, and I quote 'They would have never found us if you hadn't screamed so loud' ... and for sure they wouldn't have. :)

So, the.end for me.... I did get a bike for Christmas, one year, after we moved here. (I would guess '79 or '80) There's a picture of me on it somewhere at my parents. I believe that was one of the two times I was on that bike. It might still be at my parents.. or it was sold at a garage sale - can't remember. :)

I kind of wish I knew how to ride one. It looks fun ... Maybe one day I'll get one like the bike above .. that might be more my speed + plus + I'd like to keep all my teeth. :)

My FAVORITE Book (Plus it has pictures!)

A Quiet Place
By Lynn Wheeling

One sunny day a child named Grace was looking for A QUIET PLACE.

She looked behind the violet in the hall, but that QUIET PLACE was very small.

She looked in the parlor behind the chair, but the clock ticked too loud ... and someone was there.

She looked upstairs under the bed, but that QUIET PLACE was for rainy days instead.

So she took a sugar bun and a cup of tea and went behind the lilac tree. She sipped the tea and nibbled the bun ... And THE QUIET PLACE was filled with sun!


Suddenly she saw a face. She was not alone in THE QUIET PLACE. It was a boy ... and boys will be boys ...THE QUIET PLACE was filled with noise!


So she broke the bun and gave him part ... and THE QUIET PLACE was in her heart.



the.end. (I think this speaks volumes)

p.s. good thing it wasn't War and Peace (that's a long one, yeah?)

Say 'cheese' ... and SMILE!!!!!

I have a strange fear that my teeth are going to get knocked out. Not fall out, knocked out. The first time I realized this fear was while riding in the car with a good friend (we'll call her 'the one who shall remain nameless' or nameless for short). She drove a zippy little car with no AC and we had the windows all the way down. I remember exactly where we were the first time I thought it. (I think we were in our early to mid 20s at this point) We were zipping down Woodlawn near my parents street. I don't know what was said, or which one of us said it, but IT WAS FUNNY and I WAS LAUGHING! BIG LAUGH - OUT LOUD - MOUTH WIDE OPEN -HEE-HAW! and then it hit me (the THOUGHT/FEAR) ...... No doubt a rock is going to fly up here and knock out my teeth!.

I remember it like it was yesterday (except that I have no idea what we were laughing at or why in the world it crossed my mind that a rock was going to fly up and knock my teeth out) ... Truth be told, i think 'nameless' scared me a little when she drove :) it wasn't just the car that was zippy :)

I still have the strange fear/thought that hits me every once in a while .... though it is not with the 'nameless' driver .. it is more random ..... Like when I was recently walking around Savannah on the cobblestone streets in heels, on my tippy toes. (btw, they weren't just cobblestone roads, they were like these BIG ball shaped rocks on the ground with a little cement or whatever in between that they were calling cobblestone - just saying) :) .... (hmmm wonder what 'cobble' means .. I'll look that up ... maybe round :)...) Anywho .... this is my fear, it's weird and irrational (I guess) but it is what it is ...... maybe I'll look up what it means .... :)

the. end.

p.s. well I looked it up and found this: Dreams of losing teeth are often dreams of embarrassment or potentially embarrassing situations. I also found that a LOT of people have a fear of their teeth falling out and feel like they are loose and when they brush their teeth they have to double check in the mirror that they are still there. I do NOT have this fear. (I'm not that weird) :) jk ... Anywho, mine isn't really a dream, just a random thought. So I will go with the Dreams of losing teeth are often dreams of embarrassment or potentially embarrassing situations. That sounds logical and fairly fitting. :)

All that Glitters is .... WOO-HOO! I LOVE GLITTER AND TWINKLE LIGHTS!

Really I could end this blog right here. I mean it really says it all ... and yet it doesn't, so I will continue.

When I say that I LOVE glitter and twinkle lights, I am not kidding. There is something SO magical about it all.

The white TWINKLE LIGHTS at Christmas (and all year long for that matter, i mean - why take them down? seriously!)make me happy (and when I say 'twinkle lights' let me explain, that they don't have to actually blink - they twinkle all on their own, just by being what they are - themselves. little white twinkle lights) .... I watched Bridget Jone's Diary this weekend and, at one point, Mr. Darcy - which was Collin Firth's name in that Mr. Darcy movie, which wasn't the name of that movie but I can't remember what was . OH, Pride and Prejudice? - anywho - says 'I like you JUST AS YOU ARE' Well, that's how I feel about twinkle lights :) I like them JUST AS THEY ARE! All sparkle-y and crisp and bright and magical and beautiful and happy.

If I had a yard, I would string up the trees with white twinkle lights. Winding them on the branches and draping them from tree to tree .... the more the BETTER! ... Wait for dark, turn on some music and dance among the twinkle lights ... like no one was watching - (of course I would prefer this to be in the back yard) :) ... I would also lay out a blanket and lay under my very own 'starry night' - soaking it all in ... ahhh it makes me SMILE just thinking about it.... one day :)


As for GLITTER, I feel pretty much the same .... I mean, most everything is better with a little glitter on it :) shoes, paintings/artwork, purses/wallets, cars, cards... EVERYTHING! When I see glitter I smile .... How happy I would be wearing glitter under a 'sky' of twinkle lights ... hee hee WOWZA! ha! .....

It is simple, really, and funny how something so small and seemingly insignificant can bring about a happiness and joy that, when explaining, seems kind of strange ...... but it does ... twinkle lights and glitter .. that's all it takes. (or at the very least a good foundation) :)


Side note: I must confess, I fear that one day - in my old age - you will come across me and I will be wearing gold glittery shoes. I said this to my sister and she told me that she was sure of it and, basically, I should let the fear go and embrace it ... because there was no doubt in her mind that it would happen....so, I EMBRACE IT!!!! One day I WILL WEAR GLITTER SHOES (maybe not gold) and FOR SURE while I AM DANCING UNDER THE TWINKLE LIGHTS!

40 days ..... well, that was the plan.

WELCOME

Originally I had planned to write for 40 days, 40 things about myself that some may or may not know. In my almost 40 years, I have been told, by many, that it takes a while to get know me - that I don't tell too much too soon - and I don't. It does take a while to get to know me, but to know me is to love me (ha!). So, please, come along for the ride! Take your time, take the time..... and read on. It's worth the investment (ha!)... or maybe not, you'll decide.

So, here we go. I can't guarantee that any of these blogs will be life altering or very exciting. And I will not be giving you back your wasted time spent reading my ramblings. It is just a little glimpse at me. Read if you like, pass if you'd rather. And - fair warning - don't you be whining to me about how you don't like me if you aren't willing to put forth the effort to read along and fall in like/love with me. (ha!) - just saying. (p.s. - there will be a blog about my sense of humor - don't take this too seriously, I don't)


The BIG 4-0 is just around the corner: February 17. Which means, I am not 40 days out. So you will not learn 40 new things about me, there aren't enough days. You will, however, not be surprised by the first revelation.



I AM TERRIBLE AT MATH: (surprise!)- and obviously, counting.

I still count on my fingers, and twice when leaving a tip (for fear I will gyp someone). I do better writing it down (not in my head - ok, insert blond joke here) Adding and Subtracting = ok. multiplication and division = not so great ... esp. when the numbers get bigger :) ha!

Forget fractions(I have). And I really don't understand the point of having 'x' and 'y' in a math problem . Those are letters, not numbers and the two should be separate! (while we are at it, i am not a great speller, either)

I prefer to guess the answer to the math problem. While this is not an accurate way to solve a problem, it seems quicker (the other person helping usually grows tired of this game and yells out the answer - at some point... i know this to be true).

I seem to recall liking word problems. Is that what they were called? The ones that usually started with .... If a train is going 75 mph and a car is traveling the opposite direction at 82 mph ... blah, blah, blah .... - I am not sure I got many of those correct either, but I enjoyed the story (esp. if there were pictures).

So, that's it in a nutshell. Mike Ann + Math = No Go.


Riveting! I KNOW! :) ..... More tidbits like this to come... How many more? Well, as many days as there are left before the BIG 4-0! ... Don't ask me, it's like math!


Ohhhhh HAPPY DAY! :)

(could someone post something just so I'll know I have done this correctly? - thanks!)